They Said What?

By Robert Crowe

We tend to place our favorite movie stars on pedestals. We may even believe that they are in real life what they appear to be in movie roles. We may occasionally offer muted criticism, but it is a surprise to hear what they say about each other. Reaching back a few years, following are public comments that were made about some of the most recognizable actors and actresses.

  • Drew Barrymore sings so badly that deaf people refuse to watch her lips move. (Woody Allen)
  • Working with Julie Andrews is like being hit over the head with a Valentine card. (Actor, Christopher Plummer)
  • Katherine Hepburn ran the whole gamut of emotions from A to B. (Critic, Dorothy Parker)
  • Elizabeth Taylor’s so fat, she puts mayonnaise on aspirin. (Joan Rivers)
  • Ingrid Bergman speaks five languages and can’t act in any of them. (Actor, Sir John Gielgud)
  • Joan Collins looks like she combs her hair with an eggbeater. (Critic, Louella Parsons)
  • Bo Derek turned down the role of Helen Keller because she couldn’t remember the lines. (Joan Rivers)
  • Whatever it was that Loretta Young never had, she still hasn’t got it. (Film Critic, Bosley Crowther)
  • Peter Sellers was his own worst enemy, although there was plenty of competition. (Ray Boulting, Director)
  • Clark Gable is the kind of guy who, if you say, “Hi-ya, Clark. How are you?” he is stuck for an answer. (Ava Gardner)
  • Clark Gable’s ears made him look like a taxicab with both doors open. (Howard Hughes)
  • You can calculate Zsa Zsa Gabor’s age by the rings on her fingers. (Bob Hope)
  • Zsa Zsa Gabor has been married so many times she has rice marks on her face.
    (Henny Youngman)
  • Most of the time Marlon Brando sounds like he has a mouth full of toilet paper. (Critic, Rex Reed)
  • There is not enough money in Hollywood to lure me into making another film with Joan Crawford. (Actor, Sterling Hayden)
  • Gary Cooper got a reputation as a great actor by just thinking hard about the next line. (Director, King Vidor)
  • James Dean was a hero to people who saw him only as a little waif, when actually he was a pudding of hatred. (Director, Elia Kazan)
  • Orson Welles. … there but for the grace of God, goes God. (Director, Herman Mankiewicz)
  • Humphrey Bogart’s a nice guy until 11:30 p.m. After that he thinks he’s Bogart. (Actor, Dave Chasen)
  • Before Burt Lancaster picks up an ashtray he discusses his motivation for an hour or two. You want to say, “Just pick up the ashtray and shut up!” (Actress, Jeanne Moreau)
  • Cary Grant is an incredible boor. (Actress, Joan Fontaine)

Kind of makes you glad you’re not a rich, famous movie idol.

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