How surviving cancer led Chapin native to mentor others through diagnosis and treatment
By Ben Cox
Photos/Submitted to The Source
Breast cancer impacts one in eight women and countless families, friends and communities. The mental and emotional toll it doles out is vicious, cruel and just as painful as the disease itself. Women are often faced with isolation and sadness that they must face in the mirror as the disease and treatment both take hold.
A rural Chapin native and current Jacksonville resident is hoping to prevent some of the social, mental and emotional damage that breast cancer brings with it. Kara Hadden was diagnosed with triple negative breast cancer (TNBC) at age 40.
After coming through her own treatment, she became involved with the organization Faith Through Fire in early 2024. Hadden says the nonprofit organization is based out of St. Louis and that founder and CEO Beth Wilmes is very “hands on” in her management of the organization.
Hadden says she serves as one of the organization’s 1:1 peer mentors, “It’s not like a big corporation. Their primary focus where I’m involved is if anyone that has experienced breast cancer, after they’ve completed their treatment for one year, they’re eligible to serve as a mentor. Then, you are matched up with someone who has either a similar type of cancer or a similar life stage and mentor them through their treatments where you’re available by call or text or email.”
Hadden’s gone beyond the digital connection and has had the opportunity to meet up with one of her mentees in person. The two women have become friends and stay in regular contact. Being a mentor isn’t about providing any medical advice, it’s about social, mental and emotional support. “The medical advice obviously needs to come from the professionals, but it is the emotional advice that someone [can provide], even though the journey’s different for everyone. It’s comforting to have someone who has been in your shoes before and kind of feels all those feelings with them … sometimes there’s some anxiety, sometimes there’s some depression. But then it is also just encouraging to them that you’ve been there and know how they’re feeling and can walk with them as they get closer to the finish line on their journey,” Hadden explains. Since she started with the program, Hadden has mentored six women in their 40s who also have been diagnosed with TNBC.
Hadden says the mentoring can have several different facets of discussions — from dealing with cosmetic issues like scars from a double mastectomy, hair loss and weight loss, to more complicated issues like partner intimacy, depression, anxiety and changing family dynamics.
Hadden says she got some great advice early on in her treatment from her doctor, “Some of the best advice I had received from a physician and I try to share is sometimes that you have to just not see yourself as a patient. It’s hard to do that. You get caught up where you are looking at six months to a year of treatments and your schedule revolves around these appointments and the weight of news, those sorts of things and so you just feel like a patient.
“Some of that advice that I received was to remember that you’re still a person, you’re still a mom, you’re still a wife, you’re still a daughter … and just because you are receiving cancer treatment doesn’t mean you can’t dress up and go out to dinner. The long-term side of it is how obviously it can change your life. Just remember how important it is for your family that these are the steps that these decisions that you’re making are because you want to be around for your family for many years to come.”
Hadden says having that go-to person on any type of life’s questions was comforting to have in the cancer journey. One piece that helped her was her own faith and remaining patient while going through treatment so that she could return to what she felt was her true calling — helping others.
“I think getting over that hurdle of [believing] this is not a punishment. This is not something you’ve done wrong. … it’s hard to put the word ‘opportunity’ on it, but in hindsight you can look at it as an opportunity. I sat in my doctor’s office every three weeks and cried to her how this wasn’t me. I wanted to be the helper. I was not used to receiving help, I wanted to help others, and [breast cancer] was keeping me from that, and emphatically every time she reminded me, do this now and you will be able to help others later.
“Now, seven and a half years later, I’m starting to see that goal by serving through Faith Through Fire and serving with the Mia Ware Foundation, answering phone calls that my time of being a helper wasn’t then but it is now. Being a person of faith, I believe [my breast cancer journey] was making me stronger. This was giving me perseverance and The Bible says with perseverance comes hope.”
Hadden hopes her story will help others stay on balance during the emotional seesaw that a cancer diagnosis brings. Hadden took parts of her personal stories to Faith Through Fire’s “Besties with Breasties” podcast in April, discussing how being vulnerable with people during her cancer journey helped save her mind and body.
“They asked me to talk about emotional resilience and also about asking for help and seeking emotional treatment as part of the cancer journey. I try to advocate that from the first step from experience. I did not make that a part of my holistic plan,” Hadden explains. It took her some time to find a counselor to see who had experience with oncology patients.
She encourages new cancer patients to seek out a mental health professional as soon as they can in order to have an extra level of support as they manage the medical portions of treatment.
“I want to be brave and honest and say that as part of my cancer journey, I did seek inpatient and outpatient mental health treatment in hopes of taking away a little bit of that stigma because that was really a big part of me getting over the hump of not seeing myself as a patient anymore.”
For more information about Faith Through Fire, visit faiththroughfire.org or email info@faiththroughfire.org. Listen to episodes of the “Besties with Breasties” podcast at bestieswithbreasties.com.
